Right, there are esoteric and exoteric classes, or inner and outer circles of an organization. The insiders might know enough to preserve the organization by defending it against its rivals, but they could betray their calling by preserving an oxymoron. Countercultures and organized religions don't mix. What makes Christian membership difficult is having to stomach the contradiction of what this religion has become, the clash between the spiritual and political messages. So I think the sense in which a religion is supposed to be difficult matters.