I think there's a difference between getting what we consciously or subconsciously want, and learning to live with what we get but can hardly take full responsibility for.

Early on we may prefer something or hope for this or that, but we don't work hard enough or are confused or unlucky, so we get something else entirely. Instead of being depressed, we adjust our expectations to suit the results of our failures and of the world's blind indifference.

Out of pride, we may even take full credit for it and pretend we wanted that outcome all along, to avoid recognizing the world's fundamental unfairness and inhumanity. Or we may soothe ourselves and retreat to the fantasy that the world is benevolent and would never go against our deepest wishes, even if we wish indirectly to harm ourselves or to fail and suffer.