I agree that masculinity and femininity are fluid categories that don't align just with genetics or gender. There are feminine males and masculine females. Indeed, Democratic males are more likely to be effeminate or feminized than Republican ones. These social categories are determined largely by cultural ideals as represented by Hollywood stereotypes, but also by biological divisions of labour from our prehistory (hunting versus gathering)
I sometimes say explicitly in my writings that the culture war at issue is mainly a media spectacle in something like Guy Debord's sense. It's a media creation, so it doesn't affect every aspect of American social reality. True, the political and media spectacle has exacerbated the urban-rural split and it's polarized the voting population (roughly half the country). But these issues that divide Americans in the Overton window are largely symbolic and fabricated to distract from the more pressing, systemic problems such as American plutocracy, consumerism, or the automation of labour.