Certainly, I'm still working out these ideas. You asked a number of deep questions that aren't easy to answer in brief. All my articles together provide the best answer (and I was writing them on my blog for years before I turned to Medium in 2019).

How do I personally find the will to carry on? I did write another article specifically on that question (first link below). I just take the existential condition seriously, so I think there's some honour and nobility in suffering for the sakes of philosophy and art.

I should say that parties aren't all small talk. There are also the formal games played to provide some amusing escapes from the mundanities of work and family life.

https://medium.com/the-philosophers-stone/how-pessimists-should-avoid-despair-9421374c0209?sk=2883a2944eb0cee1b45e1d9c093ae1bf

Here are some older articles on the aesthetic perspective, from my blog:

http://rantswithintheundeadgod.blogspot.com/2019/09/all-real-values-are-aesthetic.html

http://rantswithintheundeadgod.blogspot.ca/2013/11/life-as-art-morality-and-natures.html

http://rantswithintheundeadgod.blogspot.ca/2017/09/why-all-we-do-is-art-for-sages.html