Bureaucrat Meets Philosopher

A philosophical dialogue about the bureaucrat mindset

Image by Haridz Caffrey, from Pexels

PHILOSOPHER: I understand you’re a bureaucrat.

BUREAUCRAT: Well, I don’t actually work as a petty official in government.

PHILOSOPHER: But you are a proponent of the bureaucratic mentality, are you not?

BUREAUCRAT: I suppose as a philosopher you’d be inclined to mystify the efficient way of thinking, by calling it a “mentality.”

PHILOSOPHER: Just as I suppose that dealing squarely with the facts — whatever they might be — and without a hint of subterfuge would seem mystifying to a bureaucrat.

BUREAUCRAT: You think philosophy deals honestly with the facts?

PHILOSOPHER: My kind does, yes. But let’s focus on this “efficient way of thinking,” as you call it. The kind of mindset I’m speaking of is steeped in Bureaucratese, in the language of officialdom which is exactly the kind of language you’d expect someone to master who’s adept at covering up monstrous, systemic evils such as those that are familiar from capitalism, communism, or imperialism.

For example, as a bureaucrat you’re used to speaking in long, convoluted sentences to lose the naive listener to boredom; and you prefer buzzwords, clichéd phrases, and intimidating…